bisexualshakespeare:

accio-shitpost:

breaking news: harry potter has quit his job as an auror!

stating that ‘i have no idea why i thought that was a good idea, holy shit’, potter has since relocated to diagon alley and reopened florean fortescue’s ice cream parlour. in a comment, potter said ‘yeah. yeah, this seems more like it’ and added ‘i mean, he gave me ice cream that one time. loved that guy.’

All Pottermore stories and other HP related extra-canon are hereby replaced with this text post

klapollo:

klapollo:

i feel like slughorn is a MUCH better example of a flawed but lovable character than snape and yet here we are

slughorn says stupid crap like expressing shock that muggleborn wizards and witches can be so talented but he also treats all his students equally in terms of academics, point distribution and desire to educate. the slug club is an example of his slytherin ambition but literally all he seems to want is like. to have his letters read and some free candy and to live comfortably. he loves his students a lot and actively avoids associating with death eaters. he believes in merit above all and is wowed by skill and character regardless of blood status or background. hes a nice flawed old man and hes way better than snape i dont CARE we stan the real potions master

weasleyrony:

I know I will be dead long before you read this, but I want you to know that it was I who discovered your secret. I have stolen the real Horcrux and I intend to destroy it as soon as I can. I face death in the hope that when you meet your match, you will be mortal once more.