solarsyrup:

tumblr users: hey uhhh there’s a pornbot epidemic, you guys should fix that

staff: pfffffff, deal with it, chumps

app store: [removes tumblr for being chock-full of inappropriate content]

staff:

pearlmarley:

when the passenger car door isn’t unlocked yet

frogbong:

frogbong:

hm. wish i was a rat living in a sewer.

youbecool:

Person A: there is no way i’m letting you do this stupid thing

Person B: 😦

Person A: without me

Person B: 😀

starbuckssollux:

writer from 200 years ago: heres a simple story about a man on a boat with no underlying themes

english teachers:

sweetbergamasque:

haemos:

haemos:

i found my deviantart from when i was 12 i dont deserve this

me

a lonesome peanut

sh4tterstar:

when someone sends you something so Your Type that it hurts

ierohero:

ierohero:

nothing makes me more nervous than my bus taking a different route then it normally does like???? where are u taking me

me: I’m the king of public transportation, a ghoul haunting the streets that run like veins through this city-

the bus: turns left where it normally goes straight

me: I am naked and alone in this universe and no one is watching over me